编辑：百川教育 来源：网络 发布时间：2018-05-10 09:54:18
原标题：职场友谊为何重要
【百川教育网讯】对FremantleMedia数字全球战略部门的执行制作人苏珊娜•阿佐帕尔迪(Suzanne Azzopardi)来说，办公室友谊总是很重要。她说：“当你刚进一家公司的时候，你会发现和你志趣相投、理解你的人。办公室往往是你呆的时间最久的地方，你需要有人可以分享秘密或依靠。”Office friendships have always been important to Suzanne Azzopardi, an executive producer of digital global strategy at FremantleMedia. “When you start at a company, you find people who are similar to you and understand you,” she says. “Work is often the place where you spend more time than any other and you need people you can share confidences with or lean on.”
实际上，我们大多数人都可以想到这样的例子，当老板很难打交道或者业绩评估不顺时，一位职场朋友提供了支持。同样，朋友可以扮演盟友和合作伙伴的角色，他们互相关心，促进彼此的利益。Indeed, most of us will be able to think of an instance where a boss has been difficult or a performance review has gone badly and a workplace friend has offered support. Similarly, friends can act as allies and partners who look out for each other and advance each other’s interests.
阿佐帕尔迪补充说，职场友谊也可能非常深厚，尤其是在你年轻的时候——你可能会与同事一起住，或者在生活中有来有往。Work friendships can also be very intense, Ms Azzopardi adds, especially when you are young — you may end up sharing accommodation or even your lives with colleagues.
“在我二十多岁的时候，我们团队有6到10人。我们在同一个办公室工作，因为我们在音乐行业，所以我们晚上一起去看演唱会。这有点不寻常，但我们真的一直在一起。”“In my twenties, there was a group of six to 10 of us. We worked in the same office and, because we were in the music industry, we’d go to gigs in the evening together. It was a bit unusual but we really were together all the time.”
多年以后，她仍然与其中一些人保持着联系。“我有一个12年前一起工作过的非常好的朋友。我每年都会和我的第二位老板一起吃晚餐。”还有一位也是在工作中认识的老朋友曾打电话让阿佐帕尔迪联系她现在的公司。Years later she is still in touch with some of them. “I have a very good friend who I worked with 12 years ago. And I still have dinner every year with my second boss.” Another old work friend, she adds, called to put her in touch with the company she now works for.
从事自由职业的媒体律师乔治娅•库派奇(Georgina Cuppaidge)是阿佐帕尔迪在职业生涯早期结识的一位朋友。她说：“你在二三十岁的时候，可能感觉职场生活和社交生活之间没啥界限。但即使到了现在仍然是这样。我在两年前的一份工作中认识了一个人，没过几天我就意识到我们志趣相投。”Georgina Cuppaidge, a freelance media lawyer, is one of the people Ms Azzopardi knows from those early days. “In your 20s and 30s, the line between your work life and social life can feel invisible,” she says. “But even now it still happens. In a job I worked at two years ago, I met someone and after a couple of days I realised we were kindred spirits.”
她补充说，职场朋友是理解和支持的源泉：“在事情进展顺利的时候以及在事情进展不顺的时候，你们都会彼此受益。”Work friends, she adds, are a source of understanding and support: “You get the best from each other when things are going well and when they’re not going well.”
法律业招聘公司Law Absolute的联合创始人萨拉•戈德温(Sarah Godwin)与两位职场朋友创办了一家企业。她解释说：“我们三人是在上世纪90年代一起工作时相识的。多年来，其中一位女士曾经是我的老板，后来我是她的老板。”Sarah Godwin, co-founder of the legal recruitment firm, Law Absolute, started a business with two work friends. “The three of us who founded the company met while working together in the ’90s,” she explains. “Over the years, one of the women had been my boss and then, later I’d been hers.”
她说，与好友一起创办公司真的很棒。“公司会有非常好的文化，有凝聚力，彼此非常信任。这渗透到整个企业当中。”Law Absolute成立于2003年，她说，他们现在仍然是朋友。事实上，后来加入的现任首席执行官是另一位前同事，他们也成了好友。Starting a company with good friends, she says, has been a real plus. “There’s a really nice cohesive culture and a lot of trust. That filters down through the business.” Law Absolute was founded in 2003 and, she says, they’re all still friends. In fact, the current chief executive, who joined later, is another former colleague who had become a good friend.
虽然有些友谊可以长久不衰，甚至有助于你的职业发展，但也有些友谊会随着形势变化，当你们当中的一人离开时，很快你就发现，你们显然只是共事过。“这有点像一个普通朋友搬到国内不同的地方，”《如何获得你喜爱的工作》(How to Get a Job You Love)”的作者约翰•利斯(John Lees)说，“如果是真正的友谊，即使分开了友情还在。”While some friendships endure and even enhance your career, others are more situational and, when one of you leaves, it is quickly apparent you had only work in common. “It’s a bit like when a normal friend moves to a different part of the country,” says John Lees, author of How to Get a Job You Love. “If it’s genuine, the friendship will endure when they go.”
然而，像领英(LinkedIn)这样的社交媒体网站使得人们能够与失去联系的职场老朋友重新联系上。如果你在谷歌(Google)上搜索“领英老朋友”，你会发现很多关于如何重新联系与你失去联系的前同事的形形色色的讨论，就像重新与Facebook上的老朋友联系一样，这或许并不奇怪。有些人联系上可能非常棒，给你带来机会，而另一些人想要的可能是你给不了的。However, social media sites such as LinkedIn allow people to reconnect with old work friends they had lost touch with. Perhaps unsurprisingly, if you Google “LinkedIn old friends”, you find a lot of discussions about how picking up with former colleagues you’ve lost touch with is a mixed bag, in much the same way that reconnecting with old friends on Facebook is. Some might turn out to be great contacts who bring you opportunities, while others may want more than you can give.
当前的职场友谊也有潜在的缺点。“你需要清楚界限在哪里，”利斯说，“例如，你可能需要回避惩戒训斥朋友。”然而，他补充说，与普通同事相比，你有时可能会对朋友直言相告。Current work friendships have potential drawbacks too. “You need clarity around boundaries,” says Mr Lees. “You might, for example, need to be recused from disciplining a friend.” However, he adds you can sometimes be blunter with a friend than you can be with someone who is merely a colleague.
与你志同道合的同事可能出现的最大隐患之一，是在你的密友先于你升职时会发生什么。正如散文家戈尔•维达尔(Gore Vidal)所说的那样：“每当有朋友获得成功时，我身上的某种东西就会消失一些。”One of the biggest pitfalls that can happen with colleagues whose company you enjoy is the question of what happens when a close friend gets promoted ahead of you. As the essayist Gore Vidal apparently put it: “Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies.”
新罕布什尔州汉诺威市达特茅斯学院(Dartmouth College)的心理学和脑科学副教授塔利亚•惠特利(Thalia Wheatley)对职场友谊进行了研究。他说，研究表明，发生这种情况时，你的大脑有一种应对方式。“你‘挺过来’的方式是告诉自己，你做的工作和他们不完全一样，”她解释说，“所以你可能会说，‘他们在搞营销，但如果你看我的职务，我干的其实是销售。’”Thalia Wheatley, associate professor of psychological and brain sciences at Dartmouth College in Hanover, New Hampshire, who has done research on work friendships, says that studies suggest your brain has a way of coping when this happens. “The way you ‘survive’ is you tell yourself that you don’t do exactly the same job as they do,” she explains. “So you might say, ‘They’re in marketing, but if you look at my role, it’s really sales.”
这当然是一种防御机制。但是对于很多人来说，承认这一点会有点令人不快。A defence mechanism, sure. But one that for many will have an uncomfortable smack of recognition.
即使如此，有研究表明，职场朋友总体来说是利大于弊的，如果没有他们，办公室就是一个非常孤独的地方。“当你与即将走完职场生涯的人交谈的时候，”李斯说，“你会发现，他们记住的往往不是曾经取得的成绩或成就，而是交过的朋友。”Even so, studies suggest that the net overall result of work friends is positive and without them the office is a very lonely place. “When you talk to people at the end of their working lives,” says Mr Lees, “the thing they’ll often remember is not what they achieved or accomplished, but the friends they made.”
